“A Vata really shouldn’t marry a Pitta,” she said, her lilt of an accent floating above the incense.
Tucked into the hidden depth of the luxurious spa at Leelah Palace Hotel in Chennai, India, the young woman continued the massage, hot stones sliding in the thick oil on my exposed back. She pushed the palm size rock deep into a spasm she had previously located while she chatted. I yelped.
“It’s all about the energy from the chakras,” she said. “If they are blocked we need to clear them. Special oil for each dosha is necessary. We know how to do that here.”
“A dosha?” I asked.
It’s part of Ayurvedic Medicine. We identify body types, biological energies and personalities by understanding under which category a person would fall. There are three types. Kapha, Vata and Pitta.They govern our physical and mental processes. A bit like a blueprint.”
“Insider information,” I mumbled as the sleepy retired therapist that lives inside my psyche woke from a massage-induced haze. Perhaps once a therapist always a therapist, active practice or not, I thought. I lifted my face from the terrycloth covered hole as she was now speaking the language of ‘Therapist Caryn’.
“Tell me more,” I said, awkwardly turning my head to look into her eyes.
“
“I can give an easy summary. Pittas reflect the quality of Fire and Water. They are slow, heavier and they have hotter bodies. They usually have a fiery personality or moments of fire and oiler skin. They don’t like to speak too much, only when it is necessary and mostly about themselves. Vatas reflect the elements of Space and Air. They are friendly, talkative and emotional. Quick thinking and thin. Kaphas have a solid body and a calm demeanor when in nature, reflecting Earth and Water. They lose weight with difficulty and may have lags in learning. But once a concept is mastered, it stays. They also enjoy helping people. One dosha will dominate but a second one will have great influence.”
I interrupted her, my neck craning, turtle-like. “I’m a Vata with a bit of Kapha.” I placed my face back into the hole and took a deep breath in search of a whiff of calming lavender oil.
“Yes, I already know that. And your husband?”
“A solid Pitta,” I answered.
“Better you married a Kapha. They like to listen. You would be happier. A Vata really shouldn’t marry a Pitta.”
And there it was; simple wisdom from a young cocoa-skinned woman with tinier hands than mine and a vastly open heart chakra. Where was she when I was twenty? Or forty?
In a country where 90% of marriages are arranged by one’s parents, perhaps there is a world of comprehension in this dosha concept, similar to the book “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. Learn what love would look like for you and your partner to feel fulfilled. They may be different. Then gift your love to them in their needed form and vice versa.
I’m not saying that opposites don’t attract, or that you can’t stay with someone despite your differences. But, if you choose a partner who compliments and honors your love style, your life’s journey will absolutely be easier.
